Katherine Lightner

Motherhood

The Newest Member of the Circle of Trust

I‘ve mentioned before our struggles letting the dentist into the circle of trust.

But, well, 3rd time lucky it seems. This time,

…we sat in the chair,

…we opened our mouth,

…we looked up, we looked down,

…and, we let the dentist stick his latex covered fingers in our mouth.

I confess that bribery was involved. A trip to the toy shop to get a train was promised. But as a parent, you’ve got to use all the tools available to you, and sometimes that means stone cold bribery.

Welcome to the circle of trust Dr. Elephant.

May 8, 2012

Polaroid

Learning to Appreciate the Magic of Polaroid Again

I‘ve decided to take up a new photography project because I really have too much free time on my hands. Right! But I’ve been inspired by a number of artists shooting with old Polaroid cameras. I know, I know, film. I haven’t used film in ages and, as you know, I’m in love with the digital media of the iPhone in particular. I certainly don’t see myself shooting 35mm film ever again as, for me and my style, there’s really nothing I can’t do with my 35mm DSLR that would want to make me go back to film and the process of waiting to get film developed, etc.

But Polaroid, this is different. Shooting with instant film is unique, something no digital camera can replicate. And for me, Polaroid reminds me of my first experiences with a camera as a kid when I had a Polaroid One Step, rainbow and all. Polaroid for me is about reminiscing and the nostalgia of childhood. I remember fondly the great noise of the photo getting spit out of the camera and then waiting in anticipation as it developed before my eyes. I think instant photos are the perfect thing for kids because they instantly get a print, and the pictures they take don’t just sit on a memory card and get forgotten.

Honestly, I didn’t even know Polaroid still existed, assuming it was long a victim of the digital age. But boy was I wrong. There is a huge community of artists out there using vintage Polaroid cameras to create some amazing images. People like Susannah Conway, Amanda Gilligan, and Jenifer Altman who have also recently collaborated on a book, Instant Love, about the magic of Polaroid. And even though Polaroid no longer makes the film, you can still get film for the cameras because of the genius that is The Impossible Project.

So I found myself an SX-70. It smells old, as something 30+ years old should smell. But it still works. And I love how it folds up pretty compactly and fits in my handbag.

So far, I have yet to figure this thing out and I’m really struggling with focus and exposure. My initial tendency was to get too close. I also know I’m not holding the camera as steady as I should or need to. I can’t seem to get my eye in the right place. And then I’m not always ready when the film comes out. As recommended by The Impossible Project, I’m using the dark slide to shield the film when it comes out but it’s definitely taken me several attempts to get this right. And it’s so hard to resist the urge to turn the photo over and look at it.

This camera needs a lot of light and, according to Instant Love, works best with light cloud cover on a sunny day, in full sun, or with lots of natural indoor light. We haven’t had a single day like that since I’ve had this thing. Everyday has been dark and gloomy and overcast, oppressively overcast.

I think shooting Polaroid is a good experience for any photographer though. It forces you to pay close attention to the lighting situation as there is no Photoshop to fix all your bad exposures. It’s very trial and error and I’m even sure that every camera is different given their various states of repair and age. It may be some time before my SX-70 and I are working as a team. And an active toddler, forget it. This is not a camera for quick shooting situations. It’s slow and deliberate. This camera seems to want to be arty, not interested in taking crisp clear snapshots.

So I’ve gone through two packs of the PX 70 Color Shade film from The Impossible Project. Of the 16 exposures, there were 4 that I was happy with and there were a couple that were marginal. And then the rest were just absolute crap.

But this is going to be fun, and worth it. Because the 4 photos I was happy with, well they do have this dreamy magical quality that you cannot get from digital. Yep, they’re not in tack sharp focus but they do have an ethereal quality to them, a mood.

You can see my challenges trying to shoot in the gloom of the back garden. A white pear tree bloom against a much darker background, completely blown out.

But I do think all the blown highlights created a spooky face in the middle of the tree which is kind of groovy.

I’ve got more film to try, different types of color film and black and white film, and I’m looking forward to seeing the results and getting to know my Polaroid camera a lot better. More to come…

And if you’re a Polaroid shooter and have any great tips you’d like to share, please do!

May 7, 2012

Inspiration

Links for the Weekend

Sometimes it is just the little things. Like I’m thankful that we haven’t bothered to make our back garden a perfect carpet of green and instead have allowed the moss and flowering weeds like daisies to take over. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have these little rays of sunshine to practice my photography on every day. They’re a gift of imperfection.

I’m a fan of Chris Guillebeau’s the Art of Non-Conformity and his book is worth a read. And his recent post about 34 things he wished he’d known earlier, well, I wish I known them earlier too. I think I’m still learning them.

“Passion trumps talent every time.” Alex’s 13 things I have learned as an artist.

Award winning photojournalist Ben Lowy champions the use of the iPhone as a tool for serious journalists using it to capture stunning images from Afghanistan. This is such a great example of how the iPhone continues to challenge what we think photography should be and how it doesn’t always take lots of expensive gear to tell a compelling story.

Just how powerful are you?

Five manifestos for life. I need to read these every morning. Or watch this.

Happy weekend. Hoping the weather cooperates for the bank holiday and that you do something fun.

xxx

iPhone Processing: Shot with Hipstamatic (Helga Viking lens, DC film)

May 4, 2012

Expat Life

What Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road Has Taught Me

So I had a little car accident. Nothing hurt other than my pride really, well that and a bit of the car’s side panel. It was just that the brick wall in front of our house jumped out unexpectedly and viciously attacked the car. The nerve. But it got me thinking about my journey as a driver in the UK.

Of all the things I had to overcome when I moved to the UK, nothing scared me more than driving. On the wrong side of the road, narrow windy roads, with roundabouts. And REALLY narrow parking spaces. The thought of having to get behind the wheel of a car and negotiate these new things while having absolutely no idea where I was going, well it made me afraid to leave the house.

And it’s not that I couldn’t drive. With almost thirty years behind the wheel I’d describe myself as an experienced driver. But it’s just that my instincts were always wrong. Look left, no right! You’re too close to the curb! Watch out for the horse!

What benefited my driving the most was being thrown in the proverbial deep end. I started work just a couple of weeks after I arrived in the UK and had to drive for my job. I had no choice. Odd given the ubiquitous public transportation system. But the geography I covered was considerable and sometimes remote which meant that wasn’t really an option. So within a week of setting foot in the UK, I was behind the wheel driving up the motorway into the outskirts of London and getting stuck in the Chiswick Roundabout.

I took a few driving lessons over the first couple of months. Enough to give me some confidence and educate me on the UK road rules. The law allowed me to drive on my US license for a year but eventually I had to bite the bullet and get a UK license. This required taking a theory test and a practical on the road test. I put these off forever waiting until the last-minute. I was so scared of failure. Plus, jeez, I was 16 the last time I took a driving test. I panicked about the theory test but passed on the first go as I think you pick up enough common sense after thirty years of driving to take an educated guess at most questions.

But the practical, well, I cancelled or rescheduled this test so many times until I couldn’t procrastinate any longer. And given the number cyclists and pedestrians you have to dodge in Oxford, I could not have chosen a worse place to take this test. In the end, it took me two attempts at the notoriously difficult practical.

Now driving on the left has become as natural as driving on the right was. I don’t think twice about getting behind the wheel and I even feel like I’ve got a license to complain about other drivers. And I’ve mastered the Chiswick Roundabout.

What has all this taught me?

That the things you’re afraid of are never as bad as you imagine them. Except for sharks and snakes.
That pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is the best way to grow as a person.
That getting thrown into the deep end and tackling a fear head on is the quickest way to get over it.
That overcoming our own internal critic is often far more difficult than actually doing the thing we’re afraid of.

Mark Twain once said:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

And while deep down I know all this and believe it I also know that some days I can’t get past the fear or the gremlins inside saying I can’t or shouldn’t do something. Hopefully, the act of even writing this all down will remind me to throw off the bowlines more often and tell the gremlins to just sod off.

May 3, 2012

Gratitude

Things I Want To Remember

Last month was Spring Break, the longest Spring Break ever! It was also a month where my little man has pushed lots of boundaries as he wants to be increasingly independent. We don’t want to get dressed, or eat, or get in the car seat. All little things that require me to just take a deep breath and remember that it’s just part of growing up and it’s a phase (hopefully!) and that he’s still my little miracle. My fiercely independent little miracle.

…walking around shirtless and describing the look as “naked with trousers.” I’m mostly fine with this look except when he insists on going “naked with trousers” when we go out.

…insisting on wearing his “stripey” jumper to bed. And, suddenly being old enough to start making his own fashion choices.

…pretending to be the “tickle monster” and chasing me around the kitchen.

…playing house with the sofa cushions. His sofa house has walls and a roof and he takes all of his trains in there with him.

…making the statement “we don’t eat poo.” This makes me feel like I’ve taught him well. Except that he’s also said “mummy has a big willy.”

…doing Waybuloo yoga together. “Mummy come do it,” he says. I think it’s the most exercise I get these days.

…getting out of his comfort zone at the soft play and climbing around like a mad man. Still doesn’t like the bouncy castle though.

…squealing with absolute delight when Daddy was cleaning the back porch with the hose and squirting the back door. “Do it again Daddy. You funny Daddy.”

…doing a stand up wee for the first time. Hooray! Even though he did tinkle on the seat.

…entering the “what’s that?” and the “what’s that do?” phase. And using “let’s call his name” as his way of asking me to tell him what something is called.

…blowing “bubbles” on each other’s bellies. He can make some good belly raspberries.

…planting strawberry seeds in a pot together and then dumping it all out on the ground to make a “sand castle.” Who knows where those strawberries might come up at this point.

…Daddy: “Sit on Mummy and do a ‘toot’ (aka fart) on her.” Little Monkey: Sits on me and lets out a fart. On purpose. Farting on demand!

iPhone Processing: Shot with Hipstamatic (Roboto Glitter lens, Cano Cafenol film)

May 2, 2012

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