… saying “Mummy, you can’t wear that. That’s daddy’s. That’s too big for you. Put your coat on.” Silly me, I had put Daddy’s coat on to go outside (it was closest).
… making me sit on him to act out Row Row Row Your Boat. Usually we do it the other way around.
… saying “Leave me alone, be nice to me” as he Daddy teased him.
… constantly wanting to be “naked with…” As in, “naked with Spiderman trousers” or “naked with George shorts” (Note this means he’s wearing pants but no shirt). What’s up with that? Is he allergic to shirts?
… wanting to help cook and make his porridge in the morning
… actually weeing in a little cup. He can barely wee in the toilet.
… asking me to hold the shower over his back because it feels nice.
… finding creative ways to make himself a little house / fort out of the sofa cushions.
… telling me on the way home from school that cauliflower cheese is his favorite when he has never eaten this at home.
… insisting that he climb into his car seat on his own.
… saying “let’s go home” when I picked him up from his grandparents. He had a great time but he missed me.
… copying how Daddy drinks water, with “no top.”
… asking to go see the snakes before we left the zoo. They’ve become his favorite.
… asking what everything’s name is and what it’s doing. “What’s he doing?” “What’s his name?” “What’s it got in it?” I love that he’s become inquisitive even if it’s a little repetitive at times. “What’s he doing?” Well, the same thing he was when I told you 30 seconds ago.
… insisting on wearing his “light up” shoes to school. Yes, dinosaur tennis shoes with little lights in the soles.
… putting his hand on a page in a book to mark it as an interesting page he wants to come back to.
… spilling milk on the floor with the express purpose of wiping it up like it’s a little game.
… “I got a booger in my nose.”
… Me: “I love you little man.” Him: “Yes, of course.”
Welcome to the second installment of my life in the UK series where I’m learning everything about this grand nation that I live in. This week I’m learning all about the evolving melting pot and changes in society particularly as it relates to women and children. There were lots of dates and statistics that I didn’t know but lots of other stuff that frankly anyone living in a modern western society would be familiar with.
Making a Melting Pot
After WWII, there were vast shortages of labor required for the rebuilding effort. As a result the government encouraged migration to Britain from many areas across the globe. Immigration policy was fairly open until the 1960s and 70s when the government put restrictions in place. Immigrants have primarily come to Britain from:
Girl Power
Women account for 51% of the population and 45% of the workforce in the UK. All women over 21 have had the right to vote since 1928. Acts of Parliament in the 1970s gave women equal pay rights and the right to non discrimination in the workplace. The 1968 strike by sewing machinists at Ford Motor Company spurred much of this legislation. Watch the excellent movie Made in Dagenham for a dramatization of the story. This should serve to remind women lucky enough to live in countries where they have the right to vote that women before them fought hard for the rights and freedoms we have today. Don’t ever take their efforts for granted.
And, as a true testament to the changing views toward women in Britain, the 16 Commonwealth countries recently agreed to change the laws about succession to the throne. Now, sons and daughters will have equal right to the throne. So if William and Kate’s first-born is a girl she’ll be ahead of any younger brothers in line for the throne.
Finally, despite the fact that 75% of women with school age children do paid work, women in the UK still have primary responsibility for childcare and housework. I did not need to read a study guide to know this.
Children and Young People
People under the age of 19 represent 25% of the population or 15 million. The most startling thing I’ve learned in my studies this week is that “young people have different identities, interests, and fashions to older people.” Really? You mean my grandparents aren’t also big fans of Jay-Z? I also found it interesting to learn that when children grow up sometimes they even leave their parent’s homes to live on their own as adults. Thank goodness. Kids watch too much TV, they don’t play outside enough, and they live in a variety of family situations (dual parent, single parent, step parents, etc.). Young people are eligible to vote age 18 but in the 2001 general election only 1 in 5 first time voters actually took advantage of this. Maybe young people aren’t that interested in politics? While this is intended to describe what it’s like growing up in the UK, this could be anywhere.
Education
As a parent I’ve had to wrap my head around the different terminology etc. they use for schools in the UK as I’ve prepared for enrolling my son in school. It’s also been helpful just to have some frame of reference as I socialize with friends and we recount stories from our childhood. My “high school” years don’t really match up with specific stages here but instead cross the boundaries of secondary school and A levels. The one thing I am finding out that I love about English schools is a school uniform. On the days my son attends pre-school it’s a relief not to have to worry about his fashion choices in the morning. It’s just one less thing to worry about. In summary:
Join me next week as I learn more about the population, its regions, religion, and customs.
This is part of my ongoing series about understanding life in the UK, an exercise that’s helping me study for my Life in the UK test. Plus, I thought it would be interesting to share some facts and observations about this country I’m living in before it takes the world stage next month when the Olympics come to town.
When you decide to live abroad, one of the things you learn about is the tedious process of work permits and visas, the rules that countries put in place to keep other people out, to restrict the free flow of immigrants into their great nations. I’ve been through this a couple of times already and it’s because of this process that I can’t be eco-friendly and get all my bank statements and other bills online. I must have the original paper copies of everything. I have file cabinets overflowing with paper I do not want to receive. We are in the 21st Century aren’t we? But I digress.
Well it’s time for me to go through this process again, for what I hope is one of the last times in the UK. And this time, well, I’ve got to take a test. I’m not trying to become a UK citizen but I still have to take the same test to prove that I understand what it’s like to be British, to live life in the UK. And because I work best with a deadline, I’ve booked myself a test appointment at the end of this month and I’ve got lots of study material and a few practice tests to get through between now and then.
So here’s the thing. It just so happens that there is a lot of national pride here in the UK these days with the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee this past weekend and the Olympics around the corner. And I thought what better way to “revise” (Brit lingo for studying) than to share some of the things I’ve learned over the next few weeks. Maybe this will help me pass my test and help everyone else learn a little more about the United Kingdom as it’s set to take the world stage next month.
Building a Kingdom
First things first. It’s important to understand the difference between the Commonwealth, the United Kingdom, Great Britain and England. It’s easy to fall afoul of the nomenclature so if you want to impress your British friends, show them that you know these don’t all mean the same thing. I could write-up a bunch of boring stuff to explain this, or just watch this video.
As you’re watching the Olympics, note that in most sports (i.e football, rugby), there are four different teams that compete internationally for the countries of the United Kingdom. However for the Olympics, there is only one team for the entire UK.
The first chapter of my “Life in the UK” study guide is really a history lesson. What I’ve found interesting is that I’ve quizzed my UK family and they can’t answer these questions. Maybe they should have to pass a test to keep living here? I started to recount a lot of the history here but as I was typing it all up, I thought, my god, this is the most boring post I’ve ever written. So while this week is still all about UK history, I’ve just picked out a few things that almost seemed current. Like:
Early Britain was characterized by war. First by the Romans, Anglo-Saxon tribes, Vikings, and then Normans, trying to claim the land. Then it was the Protestants and Catholics fighting to claim the Crown, the land, and the loyalty of the people. The Protestants eventually won out everywhere except Ireland. Extremist religion never seems to be on the right side of history.
Though King John signed the Magna Carta in 1215 limiting the power of the monarch, it wasn’t until 1688 that Acts of Parliament officially created the constitutional monarchy of today.
Who knew that the Black Plague had a bright side? It led to a labor shortage which created lots of jobs for the poor and eventually led to the development of a middle class.
“Perhaps the most important principles of the Enlightenment were that everyone should have the right to their own political and religious beliefs and that the state should not attempt to dictate in these matters.” Maybe modern-day America could learn a few things from 18th Century England?
The UK has had strong female leaders throughout history, Boudicca, Elizabeth I, Queen Victoria, Elizabeth II, Margaret Thatcher. Yet women did not get the right to vote until 1928.
It was only in 1922 that Ireland split in two. This seems fairly “recent” and has me looking at Scotland’s latest push for independence with a different lens.
Despite the loss of America, at the end of the 19th century over 400 million people globally were ruled by the Crown. Watching all the Diamond Jubilee events over the past days has just reinforced that even today the Commonwealth’s reach is vast and diverse.
The UK’s National Health Service has provided a minimum standard of healthcare for everyone since 1945. The world hasn’t ended, there aren’t any death squads, and the UK life expectancy is higher than that of the US. America are you listening?
As I’ve spent the weekend watching the Queen’s Jubilee celebrations (and wishing she’d hung ten on some water skis yesterday), I can’t help but contrast this to the divisiveness in America today. Here I feel like there is unity across the nation even though there are so many cultures and faiths represented in the British Commonwealth. I feel like no matter what someone’s political or religious beliefs, people here don’t take it personally as these aren’t what define people. And they have a sense of humour about it all. That even if you disagree, you’re able to laugh about it and still come together and celebrate. Here, I see the true scope and meaning of empire. When have you last seen Americans come together in a unified way like this? WWII?
Finally, I’ll share the official song for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebration. A testament to the reach and popularity of the Queen, Sing is written by Gary Barlow and Andrew Lloyd Webber. And features Prince Harry rocking out the tambourine.
Next week, join me as we’ll learn about the changing UK society.
Also, if anyone knows what the Queen carries around in her little black handbag, I’d love to know.
And, if you’re an expat and have taken the Life in the UK test, feel free to leave me a comment and tell me all about how easy (or hard) the test is.
* Source for all: Life in the United Kingdom: A Journey To Citizenship 2nd Edition by the Home Office
I honestly don’t remember how I found Susannah Conway on the Internet. One link led to another, which led to another, which led to her. And I’m so thankful that I found her. There are people you find in the blogosphere, people with parenting tips or technology advice or great recipes. People that might have information that helps you get through daily life and put dinner on the table. But Susannah does something on a completely different level, she talks to my soul. Through her candid and heartfelt writing and expressive images, she’s opened my eyes to a way of not just getting through life, but of living it, embracing it.
It was in just those first few pages that the lightbulb went off in my head. Grief. I’ve grieved and haven’t acknowledged it, haven’t known it, been in denial. Grieving the loss of a life in America with friends and family, grieving the loss of a career, the loss of what had been my identity. And I’ve struggled to move forward because I hadn’t yet accepted that who I was didn’t exist anymore. Maybe this is why I’ve created this space for writing and photographing, a way to make sense of everything and process my feelings. To start finding me again.
But this book, well, it was the perfect complement to a bright sunny day, to rebuilding good karma and appreciating the abundance in my life. While dealing with grief is one of the themes in the book, as she says,
“This is not a book about grief, although it informs everything I’ve learned about life. This book is about unraveling the layers of our lives and exploring what we find in order to better understand ourselves, our relationships, and our path.”
And while the book is full of powerful messages and exercises to help guide you in becoming your most authentic self, it wasn’t until the epilogue that the tears came. When describing her dear nephew she says,
“He devours new experiences fearlessly. He inspires me to be brave and take my first wobbly steps toward love, toward more expanded life, even if I might fall down.”
Yes. I am a mother. And, if I can’t be there for myself how can I be there for him? How can I raise a man to be full of love, kindness, confidence, self-respect, and a passion for life if I don’t lead by example?
There are so many things that I could tell you here about why this book is inspiring and about the messages that I took away from it. If you want more, you can even read Jill’s love letter to the book. But what I think is even better is for you to read it for yourself, straight from the source, and soak in all the awesomeness of This I Know. So that’s why for the first time ever, I’m doing a giveaway. This is the kind of book you want to share with your girlfriends. I want to pay it forward.
Enrollment in her new 30-day course Exploring the Senses. A companion to the book, this starts on June 5th and is all about the “renewal of our senses – becoming more aware of them, how we use them and how we can strengthen them.”
A copy of Susannah’s Photo Meditations e-book ($150 value – 114 pages of lessons on infusing your images with soul).
For a chance to win ALL these, simply leave a comment belowbefore Midnight, Monday, June 4th, GMT. Please leave only one comment. Also, it doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I’ll choose a winner at random using Random.org, and update this post when that person is chosen.
Good luck!
Update: And the winner of this lovely set of goodies from Susannah Conway is Maya Zaido. Congratulations! I’ll be in touch. Thank you so much to everyone that left comments. I truly appreciate all of your heartfelt comments.
