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Motherhood

No Longer Talking to Myself

Ever since my son was born we’ve had conversations.  One-sided conversations of course but I’ve still talked to him about what was going on in the day.  I’ve regularly asked him questions about how his day has been, what he wants to do or wear, always knowing that there will be no reply.  But as he is now closing in on two, his vocabulary and understanding of what we say are growing every day.  He still doesn’t have many phrases but tends to repeat words that he knows over and over again.  Especially word for objects he knows and loves, as in “car, car, car, car.”

But last night, I felt as though we crossed the threshold into a two-sided conversation.  Where I asked a question and he answered completely in context and with humour.

Me:  Why does your poo smell like fried chicken?

Little Monkey:  Bock, bock, bock, bock

I can only look forward to all the two-sided conversations yet to come.

June 3, 2011
Welcome to Crazy Town
Motherhood

How to Draw Animals

Yesterday evening after the Little Monkey had eaten dinner, he was in the Big Monkey’s office playing with the printer. My first thought was that he was trying, in the normally destructive manner of a child his age, to simply take the printer apart and then slather it in snot and drool. In trying to distract him from this as we do like to use the printer now and again, I asked him “Do you want a piece of paper?” To which he sort of agreed. He has not yet learned the word yes, but I took the fact that he became more interested in following me out of the office with the piece of paper than in continuing to take apart the printer as an implied “Yes.”

So the Little Monkey and I sat down at his little table and chairs with the piece of paper and a couple of crayons. He joyfully scribbled and stabbed at the paper with his red crayon and then handed the blue one to me and said “Mummy.” What? You want me to draw? I can’t draw. Pictionary was not one of my stronger party games. Ok, I’ll give it a go. Out came a cat, a bee, a flower, a dinosaur, a butterfly, a tree, and a house. They must have resembled my intended subject as they were all correctly identified by my child. I attempted to draw a dog but Little Monkey said it was a horse so I put a mane on it and went with it.

Later that evening while cleaning up, the Big Monkey was examining my handiwork.  A closet artist, he was horrified at the sight of the distorted creatures I had drawn and the prospect of our son a) learning to draw from me and b) learning what animals look like from my drawings.  So he picked up a pen and proceeded to instruct me on the fundamentals of how you can start with the same basic elements and create any number of animals.  Five minutes later, he had this (minus the caption which I added from my iPhone with Halftone).

It’s a shame I didn’t save my drawings to compare but, without a doubt, Big Monkey is in charge of the coloring from this point forward. Although I do think his cat looks like a beaver.

May 25, 2011
Motherhood

Do we really need another Cinderella?

Unless you’ve been living on Mars, you’re aware that we’ve got a big party here in the UK tomorrow as Kate Middleton is finally getting married to her prince.  It’s all very exciting (well not really) and I admit that I’ll end up watching it on the tele just like a billion or so other people around the world.  I’m sure it will be glorious and lavish, she’ll be beautiful, William will be handsome, just what the fairy godmother ordered.  In all seriousness, they actually come across as two genuinely decent people and I hope they enjoy another one of our lovely spring days and live happily every after.

But in the madness surrounding the wedding, I can’t help but wonder if we’re glorifying this whole thing a bit much and reinforcing the idea that becoming a princess could be a girl’s crowning achievement.  As I rode the tube home a few weeks ago and flipped through my copy of the Evening Standard, I came across an article about a Princess Prep school, a summer camp designed to teach young girls etiquette and horse riding, among other things.  You’re kidding me, right?  Nope.

According to an article in the Express, it’s targeted for the American market and will set you back £2500 to have your little girl immersed in everything royal for a week.  Their website even says that little girls will be cared for “in the regal manner to which they plan to become accustomed.”  It’s no surprise to me that this comes from America where more and more parents are sadly happy to exploit their own children and allow their 5 year olds to wear more makeup than I do at 40.

Jerramy Fine, the founder of Princess Prep, said in the Express article:

“I got a lot of backlash asking why I didn’t set up something like a Nobel Prize winners camp instead but I think princess qualities such as generosity, gratitude and good manners, are all very important in life.”

I actually couldn’t agree more.  But I don’t think we should label generosity, gratitude, and good manners as something you need to be a princess to display.  I’m all about teaching children of both sexes about manners and politeness.  But, isn’t that what parents are for?  Surely I don’t need to send my child to summer camp for him to learn to say please and thank you.

Couple this with an article I read in PC Magazine about the continually widening gender gap in technology.  Jobs in the technology sector are growing yet women continue to be underrepresented.  From my own personal experience, I know this is true.  I’ve worked in the technology sector for the past 15 years in small startups, dot coms, and Fortune 500 companies in both the US and UK.  And, universally, I have typically been the only women in the room.

There are of course exceptions to every rule and I’ve worked with many other talented tech savvy women.  What I find interesting though is that, usually, none of these women are American.  They are Indian, Asian, and European.  One of the most talented women I worked with in the US was Russian.  American technology companies are out there paying for work permits and visas to bring in skilled women (and men) from overseas.  I agree with President Obama when he says there are more pressing issues that need his attention than the silliness of his birth certificate.  Like what’s happening to the American education system.  If I had to hazard a guess, little girls in China aren’t going to princess camp.  They are learning about math, science, and technology.

My “summer camp” consisted of hanging out on dad’s college campus playing in the physics lab, the biology lab, the planetarium, the darkroom, typing silly messages on punch cards and making holograms of little dice.  Lest you think that makes me too much of a geek, I also had a Barbie and she lived in a smashing townhouse.  Now, not every little girl has a dad with a PhD in physics and access to a college campus.  But, surely there are better choices for the parents of little girls than a camp that reinforces gender stereotypes as recent research shows that these start at an early age.

Maybe Professor Brian Cox, who is a shining example of making science interesting and accessible, should startup a summer camp for girls.  We don’t need to encourage girls to learn about the wonders of becoming Cinderella.  What we need is to encourage more girls to learn about the wonders of the universe around them.

April 28, 2011
Motherhood

Step Away From the Camera

When we were enjoying Peppa Pig World a couple of weeks ago my friend and photographer Amanda and I had a brief conversation about whether you can get too caught up in taking pictures all the time.  Certainly for any mother who really enjoys taking pictures, there is danger that you can end up hidden behind a camera and not out in front actually experiencing things with your child.  We both agreed and left our cameras behind as we boarded Peppa’s Balloon Ride with our children and enjoyed getting slightly dizzy as it went up and around. Continue Reading

April 8, 2011
First Haircut
Motherhood

Who Needs a Hairdresser?

We (I) decided to cut Little Monkey’s hair.  My romantic visions of leaving his hair to become a flowing mane of curls had really just become a tangled scruffy mess.  I have tried to justify this by telling myself that a good haircut is always the secret to having it grow thicker and fuller.  In the end, it was just bugging me and his hair needed a little tidy up.

Before - Nice Hair

Professional vs. DIY was the next question.  As a consumer of hundreds of professional haircuts over the years, I felt like I’d paid enough attention to enable me to cut the hair of a 16 month old.   He certainly wasn’t going to complain about the styling but my own scars of bad childhood haircuts (thanks mom!) made me want to at least make sure he looked respectable.

Anyone with a toddler will surely recognize that the secret to getting a sharp implement near their head is 1) containment and 2) distraction.  So, with those two precepts in mind, we forged ahead.  First, containment.  The grandparents gave Little Monkey a lovely tricycle for Christmas which he loves to push around the house and SIT IN.  With Little Monkey securely in his trike, we move on to phase two, distraction.  This is where Peppa Pig comes in.  Sitting in his groovy trike in front of the tele watching Peppa.  Who could ask for anything more?

After - Who is this smart-looking boy?

And so with the stage set, we took turns with the shears.  What a cooperative little boy he was.  Lucky for us, most of the trim required was in the back of his head which he mostly didn’t care about.  We struggled to get around his ears as he could see the scissors coming.  But, in the end I think we did a pretty bang up job and I now have a little boy with neat hair!

January 30, 2011