First, let me start off by saying “Thank you.” I really appreciate everything you do. Because of all your efforts, I can confidently go out in public without worrying that I smell and I can safely send my child off to school without Weetabix encrusted on his shirt.
But I’ve got a favor to ask. Can’t you just quit me? Just for a little while? Even if it’s just for a day? I like to complete things. I like that feeling of being able to tick something off a list and call it done. But you? You’re never complete, never done. Just when I think I’m done with you, you’re back like Groundhog Day and we start our little dance all over again. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Your ability to re-invent yourself every single day, well it’s just uncanny. Because of you, I’ve got a feeling of constant dread, like I’m being followed. You’re like a cat hunting its prey, always lurking somewhere ready to pounce.
I realize you hold all the cards here, you know I can’t quit you. I want to walk around in clean underwear and in clothes that smell like a fresh summer breeze even in the middle of winter. I want my black shirts to be free of milk stains and snot. And you know that. But can’t a girl get a holiday? Just one day?
Please put some thought into it. I don’t think it’s too much to ask.